Update

It's been almost two months now since I graduated from college and moved back home. Life has been busy with moving, unpacking, flying to a wedding, and various other things. But now it's July and I realized that summer is half over.Normally that makes me excited because Autumn is my favorite season. This year, I actually get to be home for a REAL autumn. But my excitement is mixed with a bit of apprehension. In about 5 weeks, school begins, and I will be personally responsible for the education of at least 6 children in my care. I have so much to do to get ready. Sometimes, I get excited, other times, I'm overwhelmed. Thankfully, I have a Father above who will help me get everything done.

So there is the last two months in a nutshell. Have a safe and wonderful holiday!

Allow me to share with you a song that helped me fix my out of whack priorities. I heard it several months ago listening to a college chapel service online. Here is "I Have Been Blessed"

Verse 1: When He moves among us all that He does, All of His mercy and all of His love. If the pen of the writer could write everyday, Even this world could never contain how I've been blessed.

Verse 2: The warmth in winter, the flowers in spring, The laughter of summer and
the changing of leaves. The food on my table, a good place to sleep, Clothes on
my back and shoes on my feet I have been blessed.

Chorus: I have been blessed, God's so good to me. Precious are His thoughts of
you and me. No way I could count them, there's not enough time. So I'll just
thank Him for being so kind. God has been good, so good. I have been blessed.

Verse 3: Arms that will raise, a voice that can talk, Hands that can touch and
legs that can walk, Ears that can listen, eyes that can see, Oh I've got to
praise Him, as long as I breathe. I have been blessed.

Verse 4: A father and mother who nurtured and raised, a brother and sister,
memories made, Our pastor to lead us, this altar to pray, stripes that can heal,
the blood that still saves. I have been blessed.

Chorus: I have been blessed. God's so good to me. Precious are His thoughts of
you and me. No way I could count them, there's not enough time. So I'll just
thank Him for being so kind. God has been good, so good. I have been blessed.

Verse 5: We live in a country, the greatest on earth. Where our flag stands for freedom and what it is worth. She stands in the harbor, Miss Liberty calls. All gave
some but some gave it all so we could be blessed.

Verse 6: He's my shoulder to lean on when I am down. The rock where He leads me
when I'm overwhelmed. The place where He hides me under His wings. He's not
just a song, He's the reason I sing. I have been blessed.

Chorus: I have been blessed. God's so good to me. Precious are His thoughts of
you and me. No way I could count them, there's not enough time. So I'll just
thank Him for being so kind. God has been good, so good. I have been
blessed.

To listen to the song and the chapel service from which is came, click here. It is the sermon entitled, "I Have Been Blessed". I hope you will be.

I Don't Know What I am Doing

My take charge nature is having trouble letting go again. In 5 months, I will graduate from college with even less of an idea of what I'm doing than when I started. I always figured on being engaged by now, and then I wouldn't have to make any decisions other than go where he goes. Yet, the Lord sees fit to keep me single, and most days I am content.
However, I am still faced with decisions and questions for which I have no response and I feel very lost. Last night I poured my heart out to the Lord and admitted to Him that I'm scared. I want to serve Him, I wanted to be used. I have so many hopes and dreams, but I don't really know where they fit into God's plan. Perhaps they do not belong at all.
Last night at church, Preacher told us to claim a verse or passage for this new year. Instantly Psalm 37:3-5 came to mind. These are some of my favorite verses and I have claimed them for 2009.

Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily
thou shalt be fed.
Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give
thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to
pass.

I still don't know what I will be doing when I graduate. I know what my desires are, and my heavenly Father knows them as well. God will take care of me. These verse remind me of the three things that I must do: Trust, Delight, Commit.
As one of my favorite songs says, "For I know Who holds tomorrow, And I know He holds my hand."

Each semester as I head back to college, I wonder about the challenges that I will face. Each semester brings with it new joys, new experiences, new struggles, and new trials. I never really know what to expect. For a girl who likes to have a plan and know what is coming, it is a hard thing to trust the future to the Lord.
This past semester, the Lord blessed me with an abundance of many new situations. He taught me to rely on Him because I was too weak to carry burdens. He showed me that He loves the unloveable and then He began to instill that love in me. He taught me that I needed to finish what I started even though most days I just wanted to go home. Never in my life have I been so discouraged. I trully wanted to quit.
Now I am home. I am thoroughly enjoying the pleasures of simply being a daughter again. As I look back at this past semester, I am truly amazed at what the Lord saw fit to accomplish through me. He proved Himself strong to me yet again. We serve an awesome God who does beyond what we can imagine.
In a few short weeks, I will head back to college for the last time. I will go, not because I want to, but because my Father wants me to finish what I have started. In this last semester, I will be student teaching, and I am overwhelmed by the thought. The God who has brought me through will be strong for me again. I will go, with the words of Dr. Jeff Owens ringing in my ears. "Don't quit! Don't quit! Don't quit!"

I'm a Senior!

I am headed off to my final year of college. This will be my last post until at least December. God Bless!

Praise the LORD for Heartache

You know that God's thoughts are higher and that His ways are not your own, even though you were sure you knew the outcome. You know that He has a perfect plan even if you can't see it. You know that He will never give you beyond what you are able to bear, and yet the thought still crosses your mind that this might just be too much. You know that He works all things together for good, yet you cannot comprehend how anything good could come out of your situation. You know you shouldn't question God or ask "Why?" because He is God and He may not reveal the reason to you. You know that you should have hope and faith instead of doubt, and so you pray, "I believe, help Thou my unbelief." And He helps you. Because He promised that He would, because everything you know about Him is true, because He is good, because He is faithful. And sometimes, when you wonder "Why?" He lets you know. Only in part, but enough to give you peace, enough to remind you that you can trust Him, enough to make you realize that you should be thanking Him for what happened.

Anyone familiar with my blog knows that I faced some hard times last year. Even now, a year later, Satan has been trying to get bitterness planted in my heart. But for the grace of God, he would have succeeded. In the last few days, I lacked a peace about the situation. I wondered why circumstances had unfolded the way that they had. I was struggling to let go of the situation and praise God for the work that He has done in my life. It just didn't make sense.

Today, God gave me a glimpse of why He allowed those times in my life. In a very small way, He showed me how His plans were, and still are better than my own plans. He showed me what He had saved me from by allowing me to hurt then so that I did not walk out of His will. Today, I can say, "Praise the Lord!" for He saw the end of the road that I wanted to take and He got me out of there. I still don't know all of the whys or how everything will finish. But I do have a renewed faith that God does work all things together for good. Not only that He can, but also that He promises He will.

My Brother's Speech

Here you have it. I finally got my brother's speech that he gave a graduation. Though my brother is younger than I am, he is such an example to me. I am so proud of him.

Guten hola. Oh sorry that’s proof that most of this year’s seniors took 2 foreign languages while here at Grace. Just don’t ask us to speak either of them.
First of all I’d like to congratulate Bethany on receiving valedictorian. When I found out I got salutatorian I was so heart broken, I decided to I looked up some synonyms for second place in the dictionary. There I found: first loser, best of the worst, consolation prize, and honorable mention. Well, at the time I was pretty crushed, but I’m doing better now. But seriously, congratulations Bethany.
I was talking to Pastor Elliott about what type of speech this should be. He said something like a challenge, but seeing how our graduating class as a whole is challenged enough already, I’ll try to make this short.
The book of Jude verse 22 is my life verse. It reads, “and some have compassion, making a difference.” I chose this as my life verse for several reasons. The most important I thought was because I wanted to make a difference. I think that should be all of our desires tonight. God put us on this earth with a purpose in mind. I believe God has a specific plan for each individual, but I also believe God’s plan for everyone can be put in to one broad category: make a difference. But sometimes, that is easier said than done. We must make a few differences in ourselves if we want to make a difference for others.
The first step is, obvious to some, flippant to others, and yet, unknown to others. If you want to make a difference, you must be saved. You have to choose to make your heart different. You must receive Christ as your Savior. If you realize you’re here tonight and you are unsaved then it’s not to late to make that change.
Once you are saved, the second step is often the most difficult. You must be different from the world. Some definitions of different are: unlike, set apart, and not similar. All of those definitions fit perfectly here. We should be unlike the world, set apart from the world, and not at all similar to the world. The first part of Romans 12:2 says, “and be ye not conformed to this world.” That plainly states that, though we are obviously in this evil world, and yes it is evil, we should not be part of it. We shouldn’t watch what the world watches, we shouldn’t listen to what the world listens to, and we shouldn’t go where the world goes. And some people here tonight might say, “I want to make a difference some day,” but God says, “You have to make a difference in your own life first.”
So the first step in making a difference is getting saved, the second step is making yourself different from the world. The third and final step is surrendering to make a difference. Ask God to use you. Ask Him to show you His will. And realize that His will is not the same for everyone. Not every person in the building tonight is destined to be a preacher, sorry Heather, I know you had your heart set on it. Whether it’s teacher, pastor, missionary, Sunday school teacher, or just a layman who faithfully attends church, you can change lives just by being different. I mentioned earlier that I picked Jude 22 as my life verse, because I wanted to make a difference. Later the verse meant so much more to me when I realized the people who have made a difference and changed my life. Whether it’s something huge like Pastor Josh, or something smaller like Pastor Fishburn and Pastor Elliott encouraging me to give this speech, without the people in my life who surrendered to make a difference, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Robert Frost wrote, “2 roads diverged in a wood, and I...I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” So how ‘bout it graduates, are you gonna go out into the world taking the road less traveled, or follow everyone else? How ‘bout it Highschool and Jr. High, are you gonna set an awesome example for the elementary and change a kid's life without even knowing it? How ‘bout it elementary, are you gonna keep doing right? This school has so much potential, it would be a shame to see any of it go to waste. I say, it’s time to rise up, and let the verse refer to us when it says, “and some have compassion making a difference.”